Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
