I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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