is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
