There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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