So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The Olympian is in my bed
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
