A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
