Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
