exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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