If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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