i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Randomize
