i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
