Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize