he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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