I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
