when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Randomize
