Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
