people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
