She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
