i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
