Apparently you make a good broom.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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