Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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