I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
