I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
