i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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