Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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