I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You smell like a Billy Joel song
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
