She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
