i don't like sucking hair
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
