spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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