I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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