"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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