my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
