I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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