Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
