I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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