Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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