The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
