Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
and she was petting her beer can
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
