One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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