Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think a kid would responsible me up
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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