haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
