She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
