I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
