if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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