I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I came so hard my ears popped.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
