summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
