What a fucking waste of an outfit
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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