so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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