Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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