I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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