how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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