I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
