You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
