he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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