spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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