Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
