What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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