are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize