Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
