We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
