New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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