My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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